Elijah's normal, not ours

 

 

      

    Orlando Florida where the sun shines, water flows, birds sing and gators bite. There is good in most places around us, sometimes we have to look really hard but nevertheless, it is there. The beauty that God has placed before us wherever we go, the sweet smell of a flower, the sound of the water, beam of the sunshine or flooding and rain. God has used each thing for a time and purpose. 

My purpose right now is to slow down and let God move. Listen for his voice in the silence of being alone. I'm sitting here in a beautiful hotel that Keith has gotten me while he does classes for work. No Disney, No rides, no loud crowds. Just God and I together.

    I sit by the pool soaking in the sun, drinking my pina colada, and listening to my podcast. I get overwhelmed with how great God is, and the miracles we have all around us, we just don't stop long enough to see them. I lose track so easily of what God has placed around me, I see the stresses in life and allow them to shove out the peaceful things I have around. 

    My biggest concern is always Elijah 25 and autistic. I want so much for him but I also do not want him to be hurt anymore by autism. Elijah understands he has autism, he understands people see him differently, and he understands all his sensory issues. What he doesn't understand is the whys. Recently the main question from Elijah has been why did God allow me to have autism? why can't I be like my brother and sister and live alone? Why can't I have a family of my own? These are questions that have hit me hard and left me speechless many times. Elijah just wants to be a part of the world, at a level that gives him freedoms most people have. 

    As a mom you want the best for your children, you want to see them move forward in life and be able to live life to its fullest. I've come to a place of understanding Elijah can't be pressed into a normal world any longer, he has to fit into where he is flourishing and at peace. Elijah's peace isn't working six to eight hours a day, being stressed and overstimulated just so that he fits into what we consider normal behaviors. His peace is finding a job on the computer that allows him to do what he loves, writing stories and YouTube. He loves working with animals, and history. So why must we as parents feel the need to pressure him into a workplace that doesn't fit his world? Why must we make him fit into a mold that fits our normal world? These are questions many autistic parents want to know. 

     So this week I'm going back to Iowa to disenroll Elijah from Medicaid and begin the process of moving him to Kansas medicad. I'm filling out paperwork on programs that can help Elijah meet the goals needed to let him live life to HIS fullest not mine or Keith's. Elijah is living with Micah moving forward at such a quick pace, and growing with his brother and his family by Elijah's side. We as parents just need to step back and let him grow with no normal strings attached.