When you have a Prodigal Child..
I thought I would Blog for a little while on the steps I'm having to take to free myself from enabling Grace. It's been hard the last couple of weeks to watch her go down a road of destruction. The outcome would be worse though if I continued the enabling.
We as parents only want the best for our kids. When they are placed in our arms we have high hopes for them. Dreaming of the productive adults our children will become. What happens when that doesn't happen? What happens when those dreams get trampled? What happens when you watch this once beautiful tiny baby girl go the opposite direction then you've taught her?.
Over the last year and a half we've watched our daughter take turns in her life that are completely against what she's been taught. Getting into an abusive relationship with a solder and continuing to return to the abuse. We've financially helped her along the way, made sure there was always a cell phone so I knew she could get to me. Last week everything blew and I came to the realization that I'm an enabler. I had been enabling Grace to continue on this path, almost making it OK by enabling her.
How did I realize this? Well first when I limited her phone use putting the boy on block so contacting him wasn't on my dime any longer. She couldn't understand how I dared to do that to her, she then began begging me to release it. I realized she manipulated and I enabled her through the manipulation. Second my wonderful husband gave me words of wisdom and said pray about what you need to do then follow through with it.
So that night I began to pray that God would reveal what I needed to do, that he would give me the strength to hold steady with whatever I needed to do. All I wanted was to hold Grace, but all I got was a phone call telling me she had again snuck out of the safe house she was in to return to the abusive situation. I immediately went to the computer, opened up our cell phone account, and suspended her phone. Which meant no more contact with Grace. My heart broke as I did this, but I knew if Keith did it and something happened to Grace I would have never forgave him. Also it frees Keith up from being the bad guy of shutting off communication. He seems to always end up as the bad guy on her list, and he needed to be freed from this bad guy situation. =)
It was the hardest thing I've done with Grace, Not knowing where she is or if she's living on the streets. As a parent we want to protect our kids, and continue to provide for their well being. As a parent you want to support them even through the rough spots, wanting them to know you are always there. Sometimes it just doesn't happen that way when you have a prodigal in one of your kids. Sometimes they won't accept or want the security you have to give, or even the care that your up all night worrying.
As a parent of a prodigal you continue to ask " what have I done wrong"? It's not always that we've done something wrong, but that our children have a free will. We think if our children deny their up bringing we've screwed up as parents. When do our kids start taking responsibility for their own choices in life and mistakes? When do we release ourselves from guilt over not being the perfect parent? It happens when we pray and continue to lay our prodigal children at the Lords feet. When we begin to understand there will be times we can't carry them any longer. So they must travel the road alone.
So tonight I wonder where my Gracie is, if she's ok, if she's warm and fed. I pray for her safety and well being but she must travel this road. And I will ALWAYS be here when she begins to see the change that is needed.
Over the last year and a half we've watched our daughter take turns in her life that are completely against what she's been taught. Getting into an abusive relationship with a solder and continuing to return to the abuse. We've financially helped her along the way, made sure there was always a cell phone so I knew she could get to me. Last week everything blew and I came to the realization that I'm an enabler. I had been enabling Grace to continue on this path, almost making it OK by enabling her.
How did I realize this? Well first when I limited her phone use putting the boy on block so contacting him wasn't on my dime any longer. She couldn't understand how I dared to do that to her, she then began begging me to release it. I realized she manipulated and I enabled her through the manipulation. Second my wonderful husband gave me words of wisdom and said pray about what you need to do then follow through with it.
So that night I began to pray that God would reveal what I needed to do, that he would give me the strength to hold steady with whatever I needed to do. All I wanted was to hold Grace, but all I got was a phone call telling me she had again snuck out of the safe house she was in to return to the abusive situation. I immediately went to the computer, opened up our cell phone account, and suspended her phone. Which meant no more contact with Grace. My heart broke as I did this, but I knew if Keith did it and something happened to Grace I would have never forgave him. Also it frees Keith up from being the bad guy of shutting off communication. He seems to always end up as the bad guy on her list, and he needed to be freed from this bad guy situation. =)
It was the hardest thing I've done with Grace, Not knowing where she is or if she's living on the streets. As a parent we want to protect our kids, and continue to provide for their well being. As a parent you want to support them even through the rough spots, wanting them to know you are always there. Sometimes it just doesn't happen that way when you have a prodigal in one of your kids. Sometimes they won't accept or want the security you have to give, or even the care that your up all night worrying.
So tonight I wonder where my Gracie is, if she's ok, if she's warm and fed. I pray for her safety and well being but she must travel this road. And I will ALWAYS be here when she begins to see the change that is needed.
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